Christmas 2008 : Looking Back....Looking Forward

I say many prayers for you throughout my days....
I light a candle for you each evening to commemmorate your soul having been on this earth....
I miss you each and every second....

psalms 119:28

KimsWhimsy : January Greetings

Good morning to all whom wander this way...

T'is a cold winter day here in Southeast Georgia...

Rain is expected this afternoon into evening, with the possibilty of a 2 to 3 inch accumulation...

A perfect day for hot tea as I work on contracts.....

Random thoughts :

I am still not really excited about ANY Presidential candidate in this race. Can I say that again? NONE of them excite me, and to be honest, I am perfectly sick of seeing and hearing the political debates raging on....and on....and on ad nauseaum.

Britney Spears - is a sad train wreck, it is safe to assume she has some sort of chemical imbalance, more than likely triggered into a more precarious state by post natal hormonal fluctuations......the media needs to leave her alone, and someone in her inner circle needs to convince her to seek serious help.....the nation is watching as she self destructs.

The economy seems to be struggling along, avoiding a full blown recession right now. One of my best friends from college recently received a blow related to the economic downturn- her husband lost his white collar job due to his position simply being wiped off the books by the company he worked for in an effort to reduce operating costs. They have saved wisely, so hopefully they can wither this setback with little difficulty.

My brother is soon to return from overseas duty and I am GLAD. I know he will be happy to get back to some normal happenings in his life. I don't write much about truly personal events anymore online- too many weird people lurking, waiting to use such information in nefarious ways.

My life is taking a new direction in many ways, some are comforting, some are so new they are a bit daunting, never the less, I rise to the challenge !

Things I learned in the last year:

I am stronger than I think.

Friends sometimes confuse me.

To follow my passion.

That music and quietness in solitude can be a helpful healer of many hurts.

That my spirit is resilient.

~~

Music selection I am currently listening to as I type this topic post :

Vince Gill - Whenever You Come Around

Karla Bonoff - Standing Right in Front of Me

George Jones - Choices

Nickel Creek - When You Come Back Down

Kenny Chesney - You Had Me From Hello

Alan Jackson - Remember When

Martina McBride - From The Ashes

Alan Jackson - Little Bitty

Dolly Parton - There

Keith Whitley - Don't Close Your Eyes

Patsy Cline/ LeeAnn Rhimes - Blue

~~

Best Wishes to all for a wonderful day

Much warmth and comfort to you on this chilly winter day

~ Kimberly

Whirling Dervish !

Greetings to all whom might be reading this.....

I appologize profusely for the lack of posting, however, my life is extremely BUSY right now...

I am traveling for business currently, and will return home tomorrow morning....

I feel like a WHIRLING DERVISH as of late....if only I could be a tad like " Jeanie " from " I Dream of Jeanie "......with a fair sprinkling of " Samantha " from " BeWitched "....then I could cross my arms, bat my sky blues, twinkle my nose, and I would be all set : )

Luckily, my education is in a recession proof profession.....so I have more work than I can handle....I can't complain though! I have been contracted for some very interesting cases.

Conversly, that equates into having less time to spend online for the sake of enjoyment....

Never fear though, I have just hired on 4 additional souls so, my life will smooth out again soon.....

Until then, I will post as much as I can....

I hope everyone is well , happy, and that life is treating you kind!

More later....

~ Kimberly

Thoughts About Thanksgiving 2007

In years past when I asked myself what it was I was truly thankful for, I always thought of the usual things.

I was thankful I had a good job with a pretty good salary, I was thankful that I had a good group of friends and I was especially thankful for love, given and received.

With everything that has happened over the past two plus years, what I am thankful for, feels so different than before.

I am thankful that this year is finally coming to an end as it has been another hard and painful one for me.

I feel this year was still about death and pain and loneliness and punishment.

I learned when my finance, Mark, died two years ago, what intense sorrow really felt like, what it felt like to be inconsolably alone.

Losing the most important man in my life was devastating, as was discovering that the woman who was my birth Mother, was terminally ill.

I loved my birth Mother and needed so very much to know her, to learn as much as possible about her before she passed away. That was a chance that was never to be, for she died, leaving so much unsaid.

I have learned that as a child, growing into adulthood, the most important people in my life could be hurtful people, and that I always feel I have to have my guard up in order to protect myself from the lessons they put upon me.

I am thankful that I am forgiving, that I am beyond hurting people for the sake of seeing anyone I love, beg me for mercy.

This year I learned to accept that no matter how good a daughter I tried to be to my birth Mother, I will never have the chance to be good enough now, for she is gone from this life, and that chance is forever gone.

She would always find a way to make me feel as though I was nothing. I can not understand why Mothers were given such a power over their daughters. I forgive her for all of it. I truly believe in my heart, she loved me the best way she knew how to love me.

I am thankful I knew my Father. I am thankful I was able to know him before he died when I was in my teens. I am thankful I have memories of him that are worth their weight in gold to me.

I am thankful for my Auntie and Uncle, who raised me as their own child after my birth Mother abandoned me, and after my Father died. They made me believe I was worth something in this world. They made me realize I could do pretty much whatever I set my mind to. They made me feel loved. They have been gone a few years now, but I will forever be grateful to them for all they did for me.

I am grateful that I have two siblings- my sister and brother, who love me as much as I love them. They are my only living family, and I love them dearly.

I am grateful I knew Mark. I am grateful I was blessed with his love in my life. I am grateful for the memories of him, and for the love, support and solace his family continues to show me.

I am thankful to Mark, for having given me a substantial amount of money upon his death. I know that money is just money, and that it does not buy you happiness, but I think that his leaving it to me was his way of telling me I don't ever have to take anyone's crap again. That I can walk away from any negative, hurtful situation.

I would give it all for just one more hour with him.

I am thankful that I am in a position where I can help people, and good, just causes.

I am thankful for laughter, for all the simple pleasures that bring me joy.

I am thankful for friends, some of whom I've never met, who always have caring, supportive words to offer me. They have no idea how much those words mean to me. I am thankful for the people who stand beside me and get mad with me, and for me, and help me fight all the demons, real or imagined.

I am thankful that I continue to be who I am.

No matter who tries to purposely hurt me.

I am thankful that although some hurts I can never forget, I can forgive those who felt it necessary to show me the dark side of their souls.

I am thankful that I can still love freely and that I have not turned into a bitter person, unable to give love, to be generous, to be hopeful.

I am thankful that under no circumstances, no vengeful acts thrown my way, no one can take those qualities away from me.

I am thankful that I still believe that love does conquer all, that my love of family, past, present and future will never fade, and I am thankful that the hope that is deep in my heart, my soul, continues to remind me that the day will come when I will find the happiness, the family, the life that I've always wanted.

For all these things..... I am thankful.

~ Kimberly

Cold Snaps and Wee Dogs

I, as usual....have many thoughts on my mind this FROSTY morning in Georgia....

Last evening, the weather report had called for a cold snap and frost conditions here in Southeast Georgia....

Sure enough, I awoke to the first frost of the fall here, a moderate amount converered everything outdoors.....

As I gave Mimi and Alex their cue of " ready to go out ? Come on! Let's go outside ! ".....

Off, like shots they ran for the door.....

I slowly opened the front door, we were met with a whoosh of crystalline, icy air....

Mimi and Alex hesitated but for a split second, then merrily made their way out into the frigid world.....

After a mere 5 minutes outside, the wee dogs were shivering, Mimi ran directly back to the front entry door, nudging the glass with her small nose, as if to send me the urgent message

" quick! open the door now! I'm freezing!! "

I made my way to the door, while looking back to see if Alex followed, instead, there little Alex sat, trembling, with an imploring look of " pleaseeeeeee, pick me up, I'm too cold to move another step!! "

Quickly, a few steps back , I scooped him up while Mimi barked a bit impatiently....we all three hurriedly slipped back in through the front door, warm air greeting us....

Into the mud room I went, to get a fluffy old towel to dry Alex and Mimi's damp paws off, to rub them briskly with the thick towel....to warm them up further...

Mimi and Alex enjoyed the care and attention greatly!

Afterall...isn't that what the Golden Rule is all about?

Treating others as we would desire to be treated?

I know if I were a small, 5 pound chihuahua, with cold, wet paws....I would want someone to dry me off, rub me a bit with a thick, old towel, warm me up a bit .....

Wouldn't you ?

I have an affinity for the Ethics of Reciprocity!

Have a lovely day one and all..... do stay stay warm !

I plan on staying cozy with my two wee dogs here in Southeast Georgia, as we experience our first cold snap of the season : )

~ Kimberly

Well, Here I am .....

Well....Here I am .....

I kind of like my new blogging home.....

I look forward to sharing my thoughts here......

I am tired of negative people..... unwanted, unasked for negative influence in my life.....people trying to bring me down...

I just want to be ME.

Like me for WHO I am

or

Leave me alone!

~ Kimberly